These are the things I came up with in case I would really, really like to kill myself in a creative way:

+ self-decapitation through the use of a guillotine
+ prick my entire body with industrial-sized needles
+ get trampled in a mosh pit
+ stay in an airplane for 86786435 hours without moving
+ volunteer my services to a crash-testing company
+ eat cow dung in conjunction with carabao piss

That's it. I've had ENOUGH. I GOT AN

F

IN MY MATH LONG TEST.

I am going to kill myself with a

BLUNT WOODEN SPOON

, I SWEAR I WILL.

Take that, Life!

I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I look at the bright sunshine streaming from the sky above me, and it makes me want to weep: I will never ever be as beautiful as that and it leaves me depressed.

I've just realized that humans are ugly.

Now I'm really depressed.